{"id":12785,"date":"2024-06-21T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-06-21T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/negotiation-is-misunderstood\/"},"modified":"2024-06-21T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2024-06-21T00:00:00","slug":"negotiation-is-misunderstood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2024\/negotiation-is-misunderstood\/","title":{"rendered":"Negotiation is misunderstood"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I recently delivered a keynote speech on \u201cHow to increase the value of your deals.\u201d There was a lot of buzz at the meet and greet prior to the event about negotiation. As I mingled and people asked me questions about what I do, I quickly realized just how misunderstood negotiation is.<\/p>\n

When I tell people that I\u2019m a professional negotiator, I\u2019m asked a lot of questions. The first one is usually, \u201cAre you a lawyer?\u201d That\u2019s the first misunderstanding. Everyone negotiates, not just lawyers.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a broad misconception that negotiation is something that happens behind closed doors, or that it\u2019s reserved for attorneys and hostage situations. In reality, we all negotiate every day. In fact, we do most of our negotiations outside of work. We do it with our friends and family as we discuss what show to watch or who will do the dishes. We do it with our significant others as we decide what\u2019s for dinner or what we\u2019re doing this weekend. We do it with our kids regarding homework, bedtimes, and playtimes. It\u2019s literally an essential life skill \u2014 not something reserved only for those in business attire.<\/p>\n

The next question I\u2019m typically asked is, \u201cSo, your job is just to say \u2018no\u2019?\u201d That\u2019s the next misunderstanding. Negotiations aren\u2019t about saying \u201cno\u201d \u2014 they\u2019re about saying \u201cyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a negotiation, there\u2019s very little power in saying \u201cno.\u201d In fact, \u201cno\u201d tends to cut off possibilities and stifle creativity \u2014 two things that all negotiators want a lot of. When I\u2019m negotiating, there\u2019s a lot more power in \u201cyes.\u201d If I can say \u201cyes\u201d to your demand, then I\u2019m in a position of power because I can do something for you, and I can use that to have you do something for me. Therefore, \u201cyes\u201d generates possibilities and fosters creativity, which enables me to create more valuable deals.<\/p>\n

Once the first two questions are out of the way, I also get asked, \u201cNegotiation is about winning at all costs, right?\u201d Another misunderstanding. Negotiation is about creating deals that both parties can support.<\/p>\n

Most of the negotiations you\u2019re involved with consist of people who you either have to work with, live with, or sleep with. Very few negotiations involve people you\u2019ll never see again. Therefore, if all I\u2019m about is\u00a0winning at all costs<\/em>, then I\u2019d be the most hated person in my circle of colleagues and friends, not to mention my family. Negotiation isn\u2019t about winning or losing. It\u2019s about creating the best possible outcome that everyone can support \u2014 one that\u2019ll ultimately preserve and strengthen relationships.\u00a0<\/p>\n

There are lots of other misunderstandings I hear, including . . .<\/p>\n