{"id":12844,"date":"2023-03-28T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-28T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/silence-is-golden\/"},"modified":"2023-03-28T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-03-28T00:00:00","slug":"silence-is-golden","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/","title":{"rendered":"Silence is golden"},"content":{"rendered":"<article class=\"article__content\">\n            I have several friends who\u2019ve done silent retreats. They find them amazingly restorative and centering. I\u2019ve noticed that they\u2019ve never asked me to join them. Why? They know that silence isn\u2019t my thing. I tend to be expressive (sometimes to a fault), and I like filling silence with sound. There is, however, one exception \u2014 at the negotiating table, where I\u2019ve discovered a number of benefits to being silent.\n<p>I had my first lesson in silence at the negotiating table early on in my career. I was negotiating with a window-tint shop owner regarding his carrying my line of wireless devices. (In those days, that meant pagers; if you don\u2019t know what those are,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/article\/pagers-explained-90s-week\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">click here<\/a>.) We\u2019d gone back and forth over volume and price. I thought I was doing pretty well till I made my last proposal. He asked some questions and then went silent. We stared at each other. I started to panic.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If that was a game of chicken, he won. After a few minutes of silence, I gave him an additional discount. He continued to stare at me, likely watching sweat roll down my cheek: \u201cIs that all you\u2019re willing to do?\u201d I caved again. By the end of the negotiation, I\u2019m fairly certain I paid him to take my product.<\/p>\n<p>I shared the story with my sales manager, who, after listening to me go on about how this guy wouldn\u2019t budge, stared at me in silence before remarking, \u201cThus ends your first lesson: silence is golden.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was then that I realized how silence was being used to exploit my insecurities, lack of preparedness, and inability to be comfortable . . . with silence.<\/p>\n<p>We see the power of silence at the negotiating table all the time. I\u2019m not talking about people who\u2019re unwilling to share or who remain tight-lipped, but rather skilled negotiators who know how to use silence to their advantage. Here are some situations where you might consider using silence.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ask and be quiet.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The first mistake people make when asking questions is asking too many questions at once. The next mistake is not shutting up, waiting for (and listening to) the answer. When a question makes the other side pause to think, many negotiators (like my young self) will jump in and fill the void. They feel bad for the other person, so they\u2019ll explain the question further or give their own answers or even take the question off the table, thereby letting the other side off the hook. It\u2019s often the answer to the hard question that will help create more valuable deals or shift power.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Be quiet before you answer.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is the inverse of the above. If you\u2019ve been asked a tough question or one that you don\u2019t really want to answer, pause and keep quiet. There\u2019s a high degree of likelihood that the other side will actually let you off the hook. If they don\u2019t rescue you, then take those moments to think about your answer and give the one you want, not the one you feel pressured to give.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>Create your own silence.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>During stressful negotiations, you may need to create your own silence by stepping away from the table. Noise affects stress levels by raising cortisol and adrenaline. Studies have shown that silence can relieve stress in just two minutes. Lowering sensory inputs can help restore your cognitive resources so you can make better decisions. Don\u2019t be afraid to create your own silence by taking that break.<\/p>\n<p><strong>When in doubt, be silent.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Abraham Lincoln once said, \u201cBetter to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.\u201d If you don\u2019t know the answer or aren\u2019t sure what to say, then it may be better to say nothing. At the negotiation table, some dealmakers feel that if they can\u2019t answer a question, they\u2019ll lose credibility. In reality, you lose far more credibility by trying to make something up than just admitting that you don\u2019t know. As Mark Twain once said, \u201cIf you tell the truth, you don&#8217;t have to remember anything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At some point, I might try a silent retreat, but in the meantime, I\u2019ll continue to practice my own silent crusade at the dealmaking table. And with that, I say . . .<br\/><br\/><\/p>\n<p><strong>We Can Help You Use Silence to Your Advantage.<\/strong><br\/>Is silence being used against your team at the negotiating table to exploit their insecurities, lack of preparedness, or inability to be comfortable . . . with silence. We can help! Drawing on nearly 50 years of real-world negotiating experience, we\u2019ll assist you with getting better deals, saving time, and creating value for all involved \u2014 not to mention preserving and even strengthening relationships. Let us partner you with one of our advisers, ensuring you\u2019ve got the broadest view of your deal.<\/p>\n<p>Talk to one of our experts today:<\/p>\n<p>P: 042979069<\/p>\n<p>E: info@scotwork.co.nz<\/p>\n<\/article>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have several friends who\u2019ve done silent retreats. They find them amazingly restorative and centering. I\u2019ve noticed that they\u2019ve never asked me to join them. Why? They know that silence isn\u2019t my thing. I tend to be expressive (sometimes to a fault), and I like filling silence with sound. There is, however, one exception \u2014&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":70,"featured_media":12845,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_legacy_url":"blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Silence is golden | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Silence is golden | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"New Zealand\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-28T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1350\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brian Buck\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brian Buck\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/\",\"name\":\"Silence is golden | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-28T00:00:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#\/schema\/person\/8403cfdd2f3af41ec9fafaafaa0a1313\"},\"description\":\"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg\",\"contentUrl\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg\",\"width\":1350,\"height\":900},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Silence is golden\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/\",\"name\":\"New Zealand\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#\/schema\/person\/8403cfdd2f3af41ec9fafaafaa0a1313\",\"name\":\"Brian Buck\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/194613bfd067f0d98c0ae31de0e9bf7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/194613bfd067f0d98c0ae31de0e9bf7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Brian Buck\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/author\/brianscotwork\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Silence is golden | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog","description":"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Silence is golden | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog","og_description":"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/","og_site_name":"New Zealand","article_published_time":"2023-03-28T00:00:00+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1350,"height":900,"url":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Brian Buck","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Brian Buck","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/","url":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/","name":"Silence is golden | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg","datePublished":"2023-03-28T00:00:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#\/schema\/person\/8403cfdd2f3af41ec9fafaafaa0a1313"},"description":"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#primaryimage","url":"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg","contentUrl":"\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/56\/2026\/05\/silence.jpeg","width":1350,"height":900},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2023\/silence-is-golden\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Silence is golden"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/","name":"New Zealand","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#\/schema\/person\/8403cfdd2f3af41ec9fafaafaa0a1313","name":"Brian Buck","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/194613bfd067f0d98c0ae31de0e9bf7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/194613bfd067f0d98c0ae31de0e9bf7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Brian Buck"},"url":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/author\/brianscotwork\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/70"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12844\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}