{"id":12986,"date":"2020-04-14T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-14T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/the-new-front-line-negotiating-at-home\/"},"modified":"2020-04-14T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2020-04-14T00:00:00","slug":"the-new-front-line-negotiating-at-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2020\/the-new-front-line-negotiating-at-home\/","title":{"rendered":"The new front line – Negotiating at home"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

I love being at home. I love being with my family. But ALL day, EVERY day? And then I reflected that one of the most important things we teach as professional negotiators is to ask questions, good questions, and then most critically, listen to the answers. In fact, the ability to listen is probably the ultimate negotiator’s asset!<\/p>\n

So, I asked my wife if she had anything she might like to share from the current experience of lockdown that might help her (and others), and that might promote a more harmonious atmosphere at home. The response was let\u2019s say comprehensive, speedy and robust!<\/p>\n

Darling \u2013 as promised, see below!<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Plan what to eat in advance (when you\u2019re not \u2018hangry\u2019) to avoid tension before mealtimes.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t agree, concede if you got your own way on the previous meal or change the elements of the dish to suit everyone<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. Need to do a conference call?\u00a0 Prepare in advance; ask (don\u2019t tell) the household if you can have some quiet during this period<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. Usage of space \u2013 each person needs a private area where their rules apply<\/em><\/li>\n
  4. If you have teenagers or young adults (or grumpy husbands for that matter) who are struggling, don\u2019t ignore it or fight it.\u00a0 Ask the question\u2026sometimes all we need is an opening<\/em><\/li>\n
  5. Have a view and propose it, this also goes for a decision on meals, TV choices or who does the chores \u2013 \u2018I don\u2019t mind\u2019 is NOT helpful!<\/em><\/li>\n
  6. If you\u2019ve agreed on the rules on anything \u2013 puzzle doing, tidying up, privacy \u2013 stick to it.\u00a0 But as times move on circumstances change and you must be flexible to this<\/em><\/li>\n
  7. Walk away (as far as possible) from a debate you\u2019re going to lose because nothing is gained from fighting with an angry\/emotional\/hungry child\/partner\/flatmate. Let the situation calm then come back with the same proposal but finessed to reflect their needs<\/em><\/li>\n
  8. Choose a time window for meals (often a young vs. older area of combat) – rather than dinner at 7 or 9 have a window 7.30-8.30 so all eaters have been accommodated<\/em><\/li>\n
  9. You cook and I\u2019ll wash up<\/em><\/li>\n
  10. What to watch on TV?\u00a0 Discuss in advance to avoid a fight over the remote whilst dinner is getting cold.\u00a0 Plan the week so each person gets to choose.\u00a0 Make a game out of it (film club, top 10 classics, etc)<\/em><\/li>\n
  11. Who tidies up?\u00a0 A common battleground.\u00a0 What may have been the rules during \u2018peacetime\u2019 no longer apply.\u00a0 And it\u2019s not as easy as \u2018it\u2019s your mess so you tidy it up\u2019.\u00a0 This encourages an \u2018every man for himself\u2019 scenario which is unhealthy.\u00a0 Mess impacts on everyone in the house, but we can\u2019t all be as tidy as the tidiest person.\u00a0 Negotiate with the awareness that some may have to lower their standards (in the short term) whilst others will have to step up.\u00a0(I know exactly who this is aimed at! Ed.)<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
  12. Make a cleaning rota \u2013 one agreed by all<\/em><\/li>\n
  13. Encourage \u2018trading\u2019 in chores \u2013 switch one you hate for 2 you hate less!\u00a0 Don\u2019t like emptying the dishwasher?\u00a0 Take the rubbish out instead.<\/em><\/li>\n
  14. Be considerate.\u00a0 Give people as much personal space as possible and respect their privacy.\u00a0 Isolation doesn\u2019t change these rules, however bored you are.<\/em><\/li>\n
  15. Be generous.\u00a0 Others are more likely to be generous in return.\u00a0 Let someone watch their favourite programme, clear the room for a conference call or do a little extra washing up \u2013 this will be reciprocated at a later date<\/em><\/li>\n
  16. Laundry.\u00a0 This is not done by a fairy and everyone can help, even if they haven\u2019t in the past.\u00a0(See previous note. Ed.)\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Small children can match socks and there\u2019s plenty of time to learn how to iron. Traditional roles must adapt to new circumstances.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The response has stimulated some lively conversations and quite a few laughs. But there is a serious point here. If we listen more to the other side, if we think about their needs, motives, priorities and frustrations \u2013 we can negotiate a far more valuable \u2018deal\u2019 for both parties. And that applies as much in the commercial world as it does at home.<\/p>\n

    Got to dash, off to fold some laundry. She\u2019s not called Mrs Savage for nothing!<\/p>\n

    Check out our\u00a0NEGOTIATING BEGINS AT HOME eBooklet<\/a>. It features 7 top tips for a conflict-free lockdown.<\/p>\n<\/article>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I love being at home. I love being with my family. But ALL day, EVERY day? And then I reflected that one of the most important things we teach as professional negotiators is to ask questions, good questions, and then most critically, listen to the answers. In fact, the ability to listen is probably the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":12987,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_legacy_url":"blog-nz\/2020\/the-new-front-line-negotiating-at-home\/","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12986","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe new front line - Negotiating at home | Scotwork NZ Negotiation Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2020\/the-new-front-line-negotiating-at-home\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The new front line - 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