{"id":13052,"date":"2026-04-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/your-attitude-is-your-first-negotiation\/"},"modified":"2026-04-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T00:00:00","slug":"your-attitude-is-your-first-negotiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2026\/your-attitude-is-your-first-negotiation\/","title":{"rendered":"Your attitude is your first negotiation"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Recently, my daughter headed back to college after spring break. Before she left, she asked for one thing: my peanut butter and jelly pancakes.<\/p>\n

They were a complete failure. I don\u2019t know what happened. I wanted our last breakfast together to be great; instead I served up a plate of disappointment. And then I made it worse.<\/p>\n

I got quiet. A little sulky. Annoyed at myself, which radiated outward. What should\u2019ve been a warm send-off turned awkward, and I spent most of it in my own head instead of with my daughter.<\/p>\n

It took me an embarrassingly long time to recognize the real problem. It wasn\u2019t the pancakes. It was my attitude. And my attitude was contagious.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been thinking about that morning ever since \u2014 not because bad pancakes are a crisis, but because the same dynamic plays out in negotiations every single day. The attitude we bring into the room shapes the outcome far more than most negotiators realize.<\/p>\n

The way you enter a room, the energy you bring, whether you seem tense or grounded \u2014 it all communicates to the other side before a single word is spoken. And it informs whether the conversation will be collaborative or combative.<\/p>\n

Attitude isn\u2019t a soft skill. It\u2019s a strategic one. My pancake disaster reminded me of 3 ways to make sure you\u2019re walking in with the right mindset.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Know why this negotiation matters to both sides.<\/strong>\u00a0When we\u2019re anxious going in, it\u2019s usually because we\u2019re bracing for a fight. When you do your homework on the other side\u2019s pressures, constraints, and goals, you stop preparing for battle and start preparing for a collaborative conversation.<\/li>\n
  2. Check your baggage at the door.<\/strong>\u00a0Negotiation and relationship history, not to mention the internal pressure you\u2019re under, comes into the room with you. Before you start, name what you\u2019re carrying and consciously set it aside.<\/li>\n
  3. Set an intention, not just an agenda.<\/strong>\u00a0Ask yourself, \u201cWhat do I want the other side to experience in this conversation?\u201d Do I want them to feel heard? To feel like a partner? Set that intention deliberately, then let it guide your behavior.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Even with the best preparation, things happen. The other side pushes back harder than expected. A number comes in way off. Someone says something that lands wrong. Suddenly, your carefully maintained composure cracks.<\/p>\n

    Here are 3 ways to reset quickly . . .<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Label the feeling before it labels you.<\/strong>\u00a0The moment you notice a shift (frustration creeping in, defensiveness rising), stop and label it to yourself:\u00a0I\u2019m irritated. I\u2019m starting to dig in<\/em>.<\/em>\u00a0That moment of self-awareness creates distance between the emotion and your reaction, saving you from doing something you\u2019ll need to walk back later.<\/li>\n
    2. Slow the conversation down.<\/strong>\u00a0When something is uncomfortable, we instinctively push through it. That\u2019s when expensive mistakes happen. Ask a clarifying question. Suggest a short break. Buy yourself space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.<\/li>\n
    3. Reconnect with your interests, not your positions.<\/strong>\u00a0When we get knocked off-balance, we dig in, stop listening, and start defending. Instead, refocus on the underlying question:\u00a0What am I trying to achieve here?<\/em>\u00a0Reconnecting with your interests breaks the defensive loop.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Even the best negotiators get rattled, but they notice when it\u2019s happening and know how to course-correct.My daughter and I hugged it out before she left. I\u2019m fortunate. In negotiations, you don\u2019t always get that second chance.Negotiation Training and Consulting to Help You Develop the Most Effective Mindset for Your Deals.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Rely on Scotwork\u2019s expertise to align your team with a winning focus in their negotiations.Call one of our experts today:E: info@scotwork.co.nz<\/a>P: 021398644<\/p>\n<\/article>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Recently, my daughter headed back to college after spring break. Before she left, she asked for one thing: my peanut butter and jelly pancakes. They were a complete failure. I don\u2019t know what happened. I wanted our last breakfast together to be great; instead I served up a plate of disappointment. And then I made…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":70,"featured_media":13053,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_legacy_url":"blog-nz\/2026\/your-attitude-is-your-first-negotiation\/","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nYour attitude is your first negotiation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"World leaders in business negotiation training and consultancy with experts across 120 countries, with negotiation courses taught in 29 languages.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.scotwork.com\/nz\/blog-nz\/2026\/your-attitude-is-your-first-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta 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