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Some time ago, I was preparing for a negotiation in which I was pretty confident that I was owed some money. The math was clear. The agreement was in writing. Yet somewhere between reviewing my notes and getting on the call, I started talking myself out of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe I\u2019m reading this wrong. Maybe they\u2019ll push back hard. Maybe this isn\u2019t worth the relationship damage.<\/em> By the time the negotiation started, I\u2019d already given up half my position and that was before the other side said a single word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I experienced is one of the most common (and most overlooked) negotiation mistakes there is: negotiating against yourself before the other side even shows up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Why We Do It<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019re hardwired for this kind of self-sabotage. Psychologists call it \u201closs aversion\u201d: We fear the pain of potential loss more intensely than the pleasure of an equivalent potential gain. So, we pre-compromise to avoid the sting of rejection, conflict, or an awkward silence. Here are some of the triggers for this behavior . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n In each of these cases, the other side didn\u2019t move you. You<\/em> moved you.<\/em> Here are 3 tips that can help you stop this behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Never go alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is probably the most underutilized tool in negotiating. Having a partner, or a small team, in the room (or on the call) creates a critical check on your psychology. The ideal setup includes at least one person who\u2019s not emotionally attached to the outcome and another person who\u2019ll tell you the truth even when you don\u2019t want to hear it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before you make a move, talk to them. They\u2019re your reality check when your head starts spinning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Prepare like your position depends on it, because it does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Most self-negotiating happens when people don\u2019t really know what a good deal looks like. When you\u2019re unclear on your objectives, fuzzy on your walk-away point, or unprepared on what you\u2019re willing to trade, your brain fills in the gaps with anxiety. Solid preparation replaces that anxiety with clarity. It keeps you tethered to your actual interests instead of your imagined fears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Know your issues. Know your limits. Know your concessions. Write them down before you go in. This is key to your own self-defense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Ask \u201cwhy\u201d before you move.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Anytime you feel the pull to shift your position, stop and ask yourself, \u201cWhy am I moving right now?\u201d If the honest answer has anything to do with how you\u2019re feeling; nervous, tired, eager to please, afraid of conflict; then pump the brakes, talk to your team, and go back to your prep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The irony of self-negotiating is that we think we\u2019re being strategic by building goodwill, avoiding friction, and keeping things moving. But what we\u2019re really doing is spending our chips before the game even starts. The other side doesn\u2019t have to beat you. You\u2019re doing it for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t be your own toughest opponent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Rely on Scotwork\u2019s expertise to help you keep the negotiation with the other side, where it belongs. Call one of our experts today:<\/p>\n\n\n\n P: 021398644<\/p>\n\n\n\n E: info@scotwork.co.nz<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the most common (and most overlooked) negotiation mistakes we’ve all made is negotiating against yourself before the other side even shows up. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":65,"featured_media":13156,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_legacy_url":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-negotiation-techniques"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\n
Negotiation Training and Consulting to Avoid Negotiating with Yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n